Today I walked past a mirror and thought "Ugh". I usually think that when I see myself, but today it brought up memories of the day a doctor finally thought there might be something to my suspicions that my health problems were endocrine. I'd taken in a picture of me and my husband that was taken 5 years earlier, at our 2nd daughter's high school prom. The doctor, who hadn't known me for 5 years, looked at me in astonishment and said "You don't look anything like that. I wouldn't recognize you." I said "That's what I've been trying to tell you." That is how my Cushing's testing journey began. Two years later, I underwent transphenoidal pituitary surgery and had hopes of seeing my old self again in the mirror. That was nearly two years ago, so I've been on this rollercoaster for 4 years now. I still don't see my self in the mirror. I wonder if I will ever just accept as fact that that person is gone for good?